Well we made it to the home birth “window.” Hello 37 weeks!

Well there goes a perfectly good birth date!!! Guess we will have to hang on until 11/11. Sigh!

I have NO idea how I am going to make it through the next 5+ weeks!!! I hurt, I can’t do anything comfortably (sit, stand, sleep, anything). I actually asked Scott today if I could just be put into a coma and wake up for labor… I can live through labor pain, but I don’t know how I am going to deal with the time in between!

OK I am getting seriously tired of the pregnancy insomnia!!! I really hope this is just the aftermath of my “half-caf” morning and not the start of another sleeping (or not) trend.

Last night I had my first “baby dream” … well more of a nightmare really. It was so intense and vivid I had a very hard time settling back to sleep after.

I was in labour. It was strange (not in the labour is strange way just in a dreams are strange way mostly). I remember lying down to start pushing, then waking up in a drugged like fog. Thinking to myself I really should start pushing, when I realized I no longer had a baby in my belly. There was no one around and I start panicking. I could hear voices in another room, but am all alone in the dark. (still foggy and feeling “drugged”) Finally I call out for someone to come and tell me what is going on and then I hear in my Son’s voice (as if he was laying next to me in his spot in the bed) “The baby died. Previously undetected Leukaemia”

And then I woke up with something that felt like an electric shock jolting through my body…

Needless to say I was shaken and had to process feelings that weren’t actually true, but still felt real.

It was NOT a happy time. Thankfully Baby 3 spent most the time I was processing (read crying on Scott’s shoulder) kicking me hard in the side as if to say “I’m all right mommy”

So, when we got pregnant with number 3 I assumed I knew what was coming… I’ve had a boy and a girl and had nearly identical pregnancy symptoms with both. So pregnancy 3 seemed like it should be a known pattern, BUT not so much!

I like to joke that this pregnancy is different than my first two so I must be having puppies, but it seriously doesn’t compare. The nausea – different, aversions – different, sleep problems – different, aches and pains – different… the list goes on and on.

Really hoping that the feeling sick that I THOUGHT should be gone by now actually goes soon. Not really happy with 6 months of everything to eat sounding horrible!

Well I made it to week 12+1 day and the vomiting hasn’t started yet… crossing fingers