Jesse Hraban

There is currently one (probably the only one) reason I think a hospital birth might be preferable to a home birth… Paper work! ┬áThe annoyance of registering for a birth certificate and SSN are nearly enough to tip the balance (not really, but I am SO over government agencies changing policy and/or just not being “able” to use common sense.) ┬áHoping that Conrad will get all his identifying documents before he goes to college!

Basically I have none.  We have a 1200+ sq. ft. house and yet all of my children are within arm’s reach (arm’s reach even if I had T-Rex arms)

Why?? Why must you be so close?? Is it some sort of competition??

I’m sitting here with a sick baby attached to me and thinking about all the things I’m not getting done. 

Things I’ve started or thought of starting today, but haven’t:
Cleaning the down stairs bathroom
Checking the emergency food from the car
Sweeping the dining room
Putting the Christmas boxes away
Making lunch (we did eat eventually)
Going to the bathroom (OK technically I did finish this one, but about an hour later than I wanted to and with a crying baby the whole time)

These things, and a thousand more, run around in my head making me stressed out.  I SHOULD be able to do them, I hear myself say, but it just isn’t happening.  I’m trying really hard to give myself grace and remember the value of holding a sick baby and helping him feel as good as he can.  I’m trying really hard to not feel like I’m failing.

So far (knocking on wood) today is shaping up better than yesterday…
1. No major injuries (yet.)
2. Everyone actually got to eat lunch
3. I have groceries being delivered (yes I finally succumbed to instacart, but at least I got my first order with free delivery)

Here’s hoping tomorrow is even better than today

Scott went back to work today… The day went pretty well until this happened.


So much for feeling one handed.  Now I’m zero handed.

The kids were begging for sushi for lunch! They must be CA grown. 0

Waiting for an OR to become available for Jessaleigh. 0

Scott has been on a business trip to Switzerland for 3 days. So far we are hanging in ok. We video call, txt, pray for, and generally talk about what daddy is doing right now all day long. The thing that breaks my heart the most is when Jessaleigh says (everyday at least twice) “is tomorrow the day daddy is coming home?? We have 4 more bedtimes until he will be here to give hugs and each time she asks I almost want to cry.