Around the block again

I missed my Kaiser appointment today! Just totally forgot about it and didn't even get up until after it was over. I'm a little upset right now! This wasn't just any kaiser appointment. This was the appointment where we were going to talk about our choice to have a home birth and what kaiser's thoughts/preferences were about continuing care with them even though we would not be delivering there.
So this appointment was originally with a new random CNM, but then just about 2 weeks ago I got a new appointment notice and the CNM had changed to the first person we met (who we really like, clicked with, felt good about talking to, had tried to get an appointment with originally, but wasn't available, and who only does office hours about once a MONTH.) So I like a moron try to reschedule (just in case there was a cancellation today or some other amazing coincidence) and the only appointments available next week are either at times I can't go or with MD's (whom I have never met)

Phone Break

Holy Moly - I just got off the phone with the CNM (who I missed the apt with) she is willing to squeeze us in TODAY! She is SO awesome!

I really wanted to highlight this paragraph from the web page of a midwife I interviewed. I feeling like you could just insert my name into the description and there is the story of Chanler's birth. I find it very interesting that it apparently happens often enough that there have been writings on it as early at 1999 . . .

To ignore the well-known relationship of gravity to spontaneous progress is to do so at the peril of mother and baby. Anti-gravitational maternal positions (with the mother lying on her back) means she must push the baby uphill around a 60 degree angle in the pelvis and through a partially closed door, as the pelvic outlet is reduced by up to 30% when the mother is weight-bearing on her sacrum. This non-physiological position also restricts blood flow to the uterus and placenta as the baby’s weight rests on the large blood vessels. This increases maternal pain and fetal distress by depriving both of necessary oxygen.

In the absence of this quality of physiological support, which is the core of the traditional midwifery model of care, the mother will frequently need narcotic medications and secondarily the use of artificial hormones to overcome the labor-retarding effects of pain meds. Pitocin-augmented labors require continuous electronic fetal monitoring, which means the mother must remain in bed except for bathroom breaks. IVs and CEFM effectively prevents the use of about 90% of the non-pharmaceutical pain relief strategies and techniques. The mother cannot move easily, walk around, get in the shower or a deep-water tub, etc. Very soon the pain of an induced or Pitocin-accelerated labor, combined with being tied to the bed by plastic tubes and electronic wires, becomes too much to tolerate. The intensified pain of an augmented labor, with its unnaturally strong, long and close together uterine contractions (every 2 ½ minutes) while unable to move freely is a set-up for epidural anesthesia. At this point a helpful doctor or nurse will ask the mother if she is ready for ‘her’ epidural yet. Under these unnatural circumstances, it is not “if” but “when” the remainder of the typical interventions will be employed - a condition described as “sensitive dependence on initial conditions”.

The painful anti-gravitational maternal position, which restricts blood flow to the uterus and placenta, in conjunction with equally deleterious effects of narcotic pain medications, anesthetic agents and unnaturally frequent and powerful uterine contraction due to the Pitocin (in part to off-set the labor slowing effect of the other drugs), frequently leads to signs of fetal distress on the EFM tracing. If giving the mother oxygen and rolling her over on her side does not help within a few minutes, it will be decided to delivery the baby quickly via the surgical interventions of episiotomy, forceps, vacuum extraction, or cesarean section. This often represents the failure of the maternity care system (or individuals within it) to account for the influence of the mother’s psyche in regard to the events of labor and birth, ultimately “curing” with otherwise unnecessary surgery what started out as normal but unmet physiological needs or problems. In regard to the physical, physiological, social or gravitational needs of childbearing women, an ounce of prevention is truly worth a pound of cure. [Safety of Alternative Approaches to Childbirth; P. Schlenzka, 1999]

Read the whole page

Apparently I am stereotypical . . . wouldn't have guessed would you?

I have been feeling pretty on top of things for the last few weeks, the kitchen is in pretty good shape, the laundry is done, we are getting out of the house, I am taking prenatal yoga, etc. Additionally I have been sort of doing a sweep of our stuff, in an attempt to pair down a bit of the clutter that creeps into any house. So I have been organizing photos, moving things from boxes to plastic bins (for easier access), labeling, and just cleaning out old stuff (we had some medications that expired in 1998!!!!! eeek). The whole while I am telling myself "I am not nesting" I am just feeling good and being productive. Then I read this on a pregnancy website...

EAGER TO GET THINGS DONE Many women feel a renewed desire this month to tie up loose ends at work, organize the photo albums, clean out closets, or catch up on social obligations. Often the nesting instinct, the desire to wallpaper the nursery and scrub the house for the baby, kicks in this month, though others do not show this obsession with getting things in order until the eighth or ninth month. While it's true you have more energy now than in the last two months, don't overdo it. Remember, your first priority is making sure you have the energy you need to take care of yourself and grow your baby. To do this, you will need to become good at delegating. You might as well begin delegating responsibilities to your mate now; in the first few weeks after the baby arrives, his help will be crucial to your survival.

Read entire page

Well Crap - I guess I am nesting after all - which makes me SO stereotypical I just want to scream.

ETA - Oh yeah and I think I am technically into the 3rd trimester - where has the time gone. I am SO in denial!

I know you are supposed to feel bad for your second child. They don't get the same amount of individual attention from you, don't new things (i.e. toys, clothes), they are always in the older siblings shadow, etc. But honestly right now I am feeling worse for Chanler. Not because he will have to adjust - he will deal, but because I look back at the things we did (thinking we were doing the right thing) when he was born and very little - that we are doing differently this time and I feel bad for having exposed him to things I now thing are not a good idea.

I guess I just suffer from Guilty Mom Syndrome.

My legs that is . . . and only really at night. Every time I wake up during the night (don't get me started on how many times I wake up) my hip that I am laying on is killing me. So you switch sides and the next time you wake up the first side is better (mostly) and the other side now hurts. This goes on and on each time getting a bit worse through the whole night. By the time a wake up for the day I have to wiggle and stretch my legs/hips for a few minutes before I am ready to get out of bed. Gotta love those pregnancy hormones that loosen everything up!

Update:
I have gained 11 pounds since my first appointment (pretty good for being 33 weeks)
One Midwife thinks TBN's head is down (we'll see what the other says today)
Blood pressure is great (115 over 68)
TBN is moving tons - the movements have changed from sharp jabs to more stretching and twisting motions so I think we are running out of room
My clothes still don't fit and my pants still fall down all the time - I think it is a design problem, not a belly problem anymore.
Chanler is convinced TBN is a boy and is coming out of my belly button. I guess it is time to start reading him the children's book about birth and where babies come from.
Oh and I am in denial that it is the middle of December!

Well I made it past my first "critical" (to me at least) date . . .

I did not go into labor on Christmas. I have had this insane notion that since I tried very hard to NOT have a Christmas, that somehow God in his infinite wisdom and humor would give me on anyway just to teach me a lesson. But, no dice.

Now I just have to wait until the next big date . . . 1/7/08 the day I reach 37 weeks and can safely have this baby at home. After that we start praying that I don't make it to the last anxiety date 2/11/08 - the dreaded 42 week mark where I think I would have to be induced again . . . doh and yuck!

Well we made it into the "sweet spot" as I have decided to call it now. We had our midwife home visit on Monday and everything looks good to go for our home birth. Scott is picking up the labor tub Saturday so after that - any day will be a good day for a birth day by me!

Seriously thought I am double minded about when this baby comes. Part of me wants to be finished and part of me still thinks that a few more days between birthday and Christmas would be better. So for now I am just trying to let things go as they will without any intervention of intention from me. We'll see how long that lasts

For the most part I am a happy pregnant camper. That is until I have to move, walk, roll over, etc. Over the last week I have developed a wicked case of Pubic Symphysis or Pelvic Girdle Pain as it is also called. Thankfully my Chiropractor is back from vacation (note to self - NEVER finish a pregnancy when your chiropractor will be on vacation for 2+ weeks) and I have seen him twice this week. The adjustments help for a little while, but I foresee many more visits in my future. Either that or I am going to have to send Scott to chiropractic school before we have a third =]

Well if anyone is actually reading this blog - I would love to hear your thoughts, guesses, predictions etc. on the following

Baby's Birthday
Baby's Gender
Baby's Stats (Weight, Length, Head Size, etc.)
Anything else people usually guess about regarding babies that I can't remember right now.

So far all the random strangers who have given me their opinion, think I am having another boy!

Additional Information:
I have NO idea or inkling as to the gender.
Pregnancy symptoms were mostly the same (morning sickness about the same, etc.) although I had different aversions/cravings this time.
Chanler is convinced that this baby is a boy - go figure.

I think I pulled a stomach muscle. I'm not sure when I started noticing pain because I originally just thought TBN was camped out in my ribs again, but this is different. It has been at least a week, but I think it may have started earlier than that. What a bummer - between the pelvic and stomach pain, I can hardly move sometimes.

Oh well, this will all be over soon enough!

So I had my first dream about this baby last night. Here is what I remember (because even during the dream it didn't make much sense)

The baby was a girl
The baby actually came out of Chanler, but I had to work really hard to help him get it out
The baby was a champion nurser (except when she got some thorny vines in her mouth)
We were near the ocean
There was something about a toy train (I have been trying to find a battery operated engine for Chanler for the last few days)
Some of our old small group were there (we had dinner with them last night)

That is really mostly all I remember. I guess eating Indian food will give you strange dreams, or at least it did this time . . .

I think I am starting to have "some" contractions. Don't get too excited or anything. They are not really painful or in any sort of pattern, but I am pretty sure they are happening. I honestly don't remember what my "contractions" felt like with Chanler's birth, but they were Pitocin induced anyway so that might have been different. I guess the fog of labor really has set in for me.

These contractions are either, my uterus squeezing the baby and the baby reacting or the baby poking around a bunch and making my uterus react. Not sure who is starting the whole thing. Either way I guess it is a good sign . . .?

Just in case you were worried that you missed something - you haven't.

I am still pregnant, still having the same pains (not labour pain mind you) and still hormonal as all get out!

That's about all. Oh yeah and Scott says I have started to waddle (well not waddle really, but walk like I'm made of wood or broken or something like that) yippee.

On why I am still pregnant . . .

"Because our children have your (Jesse's) sense of direction* and my (Scott's) aversion to change"

At least he can make me laugh!

* this was said just after TBN had been trying to relocate into my rib cage (i.e. baby has NOT dropped or settled at all!)

Well so far there is really only one . . . and it isn't a very accurate one.

I am SO grumpy, cranky, short tempered etc.

According to my midwife this could be an early sign of labour . . . or I could just be "done" with being pregnant and in pain.

Trying to be positive here . . .

The good thing about be on (or at least VERY near) your due date is watching people's faces when they ask you "when are you due?" A response like tomorrow or today will send most people into a somewhat stricken/panicked expression, like your water is going to break right then or you are going to ask them to catch the baby or something. People crack me up.

Scott and I took a birth class series from my friend Stephanie (our doula) and finished a few weeks ago. The last assignment to the husbands was to prepare a foot massage and bring a poem, prayer or blessing. This is what Scott wrote for me . . . Yes I cried.

********************************************

We start out on the path of life alone
unsure of what we may find
unsure of what we may do
unsure of where we may go

I found in you
a friend, a confidant
someone that I could trust
someone that I could hold
someone that I could love

I found in you
a wife
more precious than rubies
more valuable than fine gold
my heart's desire

And then we were three
amazing, yet mundane
exhausting, yet exhilarating
crying, yet laughing
teaching, while learning

How can one so young
cause so much anguish
how can one so little
cause so much worry
how can this be fair
Soon we will be four
what will this new one bring
what will we learn
what will we unlearn
how will we change

This new little one
will likely teach us, again,
that our grasp of the situation
is not quite what we would like
to think it is

So as we walk along this path
together, hand in hand
still unsure of what we may find
still unsure of what we may do
still unsure where we may go

I take comfort that we are walking
together, hand in hand
to make the uncertainty, less troubling
to make the unknown, less worrisome
to make the love, deeper

Knowing that we are in this
together, always and forever
God says "It is good!"
and it is,
it is good...

I think I am being stalked by my HMO . . .

They called me twice today because I haven't been in for an appointment. The first time they wanted to know if I had delivered and I explained that, no I had not, but that I had an outside midwife I was seeing. Then a different person called to clarify what I had told the first woman. She wanted to know which hospital I was planning to deliver at so they could forward the records . . . I said, I am planning to deliver at home and would only show up at Kaiser if there were complications that necessitated transferring. She was confused and unsure at best. I guess I should be expecting another call any minute.

The best part is that the women calling are from my "primary care physician's" office and I have NEVER had an appointment with that Dr.

I think my children just don't like to be born in the month that they were "due." I guess next time we should try to time it so I am due before the 10th, so the kid will have to come early to get into a different month . . .

On a different note, we saw the midwife today - she is awesome - and she thinks things are looking good. I am not much dilated, but still things are happening. And she said we wouldn't have a serious induction talk until next appointment (1 week from now) at the earliest!!!! So glad we went the non hospital route!!!!!!!!!